R.I.P. Kim Jong-Il Salmon: A Tribute

Kim Jong-Il has left us and everyone here at Kieran's Kitchen is totally shocked by his food poisening and freak-tennis accident that occurred during his flight to Long Beach, MS. We decided, with Beans' help, to cook this late emperor's favorite dish to honor his memory.

Ingredients

• -1/8 cup of minced ginger root.

  - 5 cloves of minced garlic.

  - Italian dressing and terriaki sauce. 3/4 cup of each.

  - Rosemary, basil, dill.

  - Red pepper flakes

  - Lime juice

  - 4 salmon filets

Directions

1. Combine the dressing and sauce in a bowl. Add garlic, lime and ginger. Stir it all until nicely blended and add some red pepper flakes to kick things up a notch.

2. Place fish in a baking pan and drench those lil fishies in marinade. Place all the herbs mentioned above on top, cover, and let marinate in the fridge for 1 hour. You can kill the time by feeding your fish and setting up a hot-wheels race track.

3. Place your slippery fishies into a preheated oven at 425 degrees and bake for 12 minutes.

4. Remove from the oven with gloves! It's hot! Don't burn your hands! You need 'em for stuff!

5. Garnish with your desired amount of sake bombs.

Beans' Pollo Alfredo

Ingredients

• - 3 Boneless Skinless Ch'kun Tits

  - 1 Package of Fettuchini Noodies

  - 1 Quart of Heavy Whipping Cream

  - 1 Package of Bertolli Shredded Parmesean Cheese

  - 8 Cloves of Minced Garlic

  - White Pepper and Salt to Taste

  - 1/2 Cup of Butter and 1/3 Cup of Flour

  
  

Directions

1. Cook the ch'kun in strips until lightly browned.

2. Brown the garlic in a medium sauce pan. Add the whipping cream and bring to a simmer. Add the cheese and the butter and flour. Make it thick enough but not super runny, but thick enough so that it's sort of thick but not too thick because that would be bad, but also, don't be shy! You don't want to make it too runny. So, make it sort of kind of thick but not too thick and not too runny. Got it?

3. Add salt and white pepper to taste.

4. Add the ch'kun and bring the noodies to a boil. Multitask dammit!

5. Slop your mixture over the noodies and bask in your dishes warm glory.

6. Garnish with 1 bottle of Olde New England Eggnog AND a glass of white wine.

Ch'kun Florentine Casserole

Ingredients

• 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
• 1/4 cup butter
• 3 teaspoons minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
• 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
• 1/2 cup half-and-half
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 (13.5 ounce) cans spinach, drained
• 4 ounces fresh mushrooms, sliced
• 2/3 cup bacon bits
• 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

Directions

1. Sautee that ch'kun until golden brown and tasty.
2. Melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Mix in the garlic, lemon juice, cream of mushroom soup, Italian seasoning, half-and-half, and Parmesan cheese while stirring like your nervous about something.
3. Dump all your spinach on the bottom of a medium sized baking dish. Cover the spinach with the mushrooms and pour half the mixture from the saucepan over the mushrooms. Place the ch'kun breasts in the dish, and cover with the remaining sauce mixture. Sprinkle with bacon bits, and top with mozzarella cheese.
4. Bake 20 to 25 minutes in a preheated 400 degrees F oven, until bubbly and lightly browned.
5. Be careful! It'z hot!!! You might want to take a couple of shots of McCormick Whiskey to numb your tongue up and dig in! Garnish with said Whiskey and flat Red Bull.

Careless Finals Shit Casserole

Ok Guys, this might not be the most attractive dish ever, but when you're entering the last week of school for the semester and you're trying to kill everything in your fridge this is what you're left with. A piece of shit that tastes pretty good.

Ingredients

1 Cup of cooked white rice

1 1/2 Cups of Great Value Fiesta Shredded Cheese

1 Cooked/Chopped Ch'kun Breast

Directions

1. Layer the rice in half of your baking dish because it would look even gayer if you spread the little ingredients you have over the whole thing.

2. Dump that ch'kun on that rice.

3. Sprinkle cheese until lightly covered, like a little cheese windbreaker if you will.

4. Layer the rest of your rice and cover with the rest of the cheese to keep that sucker warm in the oven.

5. Place in a preheated 350 degree oven and bake till done? I dunno, figure it out ya goon! garnish this "dish" with hot sauce and a big cup of Vella boxed white wine.

Abuela's HassBrown Cashroll

Ingredients

2 cans cream of ch'kun soup

1 1/2 cups sour cream

2 tblespoons softened butter

1/2 onion (sweat b4 adding)

ground black pepper to taste

3 shredded brown russet potatoes

1 8oz package of extra sharp cheddar cheese

italian bread crumbs

Directions

1. Shred those taters into lil slivers, almost like yer clippin yer fanger nails! AKA hashbrown steez.

2. In a seperate bowl, combine sour cream, softened butter, negro pepper, cream of ch'kun soup and stir that tasty slop/mess together 4eva.

3. Add to the tater/fingernail clippins and stir relentlessly along with half the package of cheeze.

4. Add the mixture to a greased up regular baking dish and top with as much queso (mexican for cheese) and bread crumbs as you'd like.

5. Bake in a preheated stove at 350 F for 45-50 minutes or until cheese is bubblin' like the bottom of a bong when I'm hittin dat purple headband! $$$

6. Garnish this elegant dish with 1 full 12 oz can of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. (Heavy, not light mind you).

ok Ch'kun and Rice Casserole

Ingredients

• 1 1/3 cups uncooked white rice
• 2 2/3 cups water
• 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
• 2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese
• 2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
• 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of chicken soup
• 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 1/2 cups mild salsa

Directions

1. You gotta start the rice first cause that shit is so gay and takes forever. But actually, excuse me...real talk, white rice isn't that bad. Follow the directions on the back of that Blue Ribbon bag for the full effect.
2. Meanwhile, place those nice and full breast halves into a medium pot and boil those jugs for about 20 minutes or until done. Take the Ch'kun out but be careful! It's hot! Mutilate those boiled breasts and cut em up into nice lil bite sized pieces.
3. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F and grease up a baking dish.
4. In a big ole bowl, combine the cheese. It's gonna look like a lot, but trust me. It's awesome. In a separate bowl, mix together the soups, onion, and salsa. In the baking dish, layer the rice, then the ch'kun, then the soups/onions and shit, and then all that cheese.
5. Make it look pretty, bake it for about 40 minutes or until the cheese starts to bubble and get brown on the edges.
6. Garnish with a handle of Evan Williams Green Label Whiskey.

Kieran's Sloppy Salmon

Ingredients

• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 6 tablespoons light olive oil
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped
• 2 (6 ounce) fillets salmon

Directions

1. In a bowl, mix that chopped garlic, greasy olive oil, basil, salt, pepper, lemon juice and parsley up and take a whiff. Don't that smell good?! Place the fillets in a medium sized baking dish, and slop marinade all over it. Essentially, "wax dat ass." Marinate in the refrigerator about 1 hour, and turn that shit occasionally.
2. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
3. Place the fillets in the dish, and bake 35 to 45 minutes, or until they're nice and flakey.
4. Garnish with a nice warm schlitz and a cigarette.

Beans' Red Beans

Ingredients

1 package of light red kidney beans

6 cups of water

1 onion

6-8 cloves of garlic

2 pounds of hickory smoked sausage

Zaterans Red Bean Seasoning

White Rice

Directions

1. Soak red beans overnight in cold water and while you're at it, try to go big with the ladies, but if that doesn't work, hang out with the boys! They need some attention too!

2. Dice onion and garlic but don't cry pussy!

3. Add garlic and onion in a crock pot with red beans with 6 cups of water. (Brita Filtered Only!).

4. Turn heat on low and add garlic powder and creole seasoning to taste.

5. Stir and cook for 7 hours. You could kill time by watching a Harry Potter movie or Mamacitas 9.

6. Add sliced sausage and Zaterans red bean seasoning.

7. Cook for 1 hour, serve over white rice.

8. Garnish with 1 tecate.

White Cheese Ch'kun Lasagna

Ingredients

• 9 lasagna noodles
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups chicken broth
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 4 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, divided
• 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 2 cups ricotta cheese
• 2 cups cubed, cooked chicken meat
• 2 (10 ounce) packages frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese for topping

Directions

1. Start boiling a large pot of water because that shit takes forever to get going. Toss those lasagna noodies in and take care of em for about 8 minutes. Drain, and rinse with cold water.
2. Melt the butter in a large saucepan using medium heat. Throw the chopped onion and garlic in there and cook until tender. Stir in the flour and salt, and simmer until bubbly. Mix in the broth and milk, and boil, stirring constantly, for 1 minute. Stir in 2 cups of mozzarella cheese and 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese and season with the basil, oregano, and ground black pepper. Take that awesome concocktion and set it aside.
3. This is the layering part. Spread 1/3 of the sauce mixture in the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish. Layer with 1/3 of the noodles, the ricotta, and the chicken. Arrange 1/3 of the noodles over the chicken, and layer with 1/3 of the sauce mixture, spinach, and the remaining 2 cups mozzarella cheese and 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese. Arrange remaining noodles over cheese, and spread remaining sauce evenly over noodles. Sprinkle with parsley and 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese.
4. Preheat an oven at 350 degrees and bake 35 to 40 minutes. Garnish with a shot of Old Crow whiskey and hot dog.