Lemon Garlic Ch'kun Breasts with Greek Salad Salsa

Ingredients

• CH'KUN:

1  ½ tsp. minced garlic

½ cup lemon juice—8 T.

1/3 cup olive oil—5.3 T.

1/3 cup Dijon mustard—5.3 T

1/2 tsp salt

½ tsp fresh ground Pepper

 6 skinned boneless chicken breast halves, trimmed

pepper

GREEK SALAD SALSA

2 oz. mild feta cheese, cut into ¼ inch dice, or crumbled

2 tomatoes, seeded, cut into

½-inch dice, about 2 cups

 1 cup thinly sliced green onions

or  ½ cup sliced red onion

 1 cup seeded, peeled and diced cucumber

 8 kalamata olives, chopped…or more if you like

 2 T. lemon juice 

1/3 cup olive oil

½ cup finely snipped dill…optional

Scant ½ tsp. salt

Freshly ground black pepper

Directions - This is not my recipe, our friend Sarah Hickman had us over for dinner and we cooked some classy food! Shout out to our homegurl Sarah! I think this recipe is her Mom's.

1. ·      Put chicken in large zip-loc bag. Combine garlic, lemon juice, oil, mustard, salt & pepper in small dish.  Add to chicken. Through the bag, rub chicken breasts with marinade until coated. Chill it in the fridge and let it sit for a while. In the meantime, put on a Miles Davis record to set the mood!
2. This would be bad ass on a grill, but on a pan it works just fine. Cook until cooked through which is about 8 minutes per side. 
3. Combine tomatoes, onion, cucumber, olives, lemon juice, olive oil, dill, salt, pepper in small bowl.  Set aside at room temperature . Just before serving, mix in feta.
4. Cut chicken crosswise into slices.  Arrange on plate, fanning out slices.
   Top with Greek salad salsa.  Drizzle some of the juice over.  Serve warm or room temperature. Serve with rice.
    Here's a link to a good hummus recipe! http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/george-duran/white-bean-hummus-recipe/index.html
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Blackout Tortellini

Ok party people. This entry is a huge bummer because I seriously forgot pretty much everything that I put in it. I'm pretty sure I bought one pound of 4 cheese tortellini and followed the directions on the package. For the sauce, I'm going to guess that I used green onion, fresh tomatoes, a texas sweet onion, about 4 garlic cloves, olive oil, basil, oregano, salt and pepper. I also probably topped it off with parmesan cheese. Like always, cook your onions first until almost completely translucent in the olive oil and then throw in your minced garlic. After about 2 minutes, throw in your chopped green onion and add your diced tomatoes last. I folkin love tomatoes so I can't even tell you how many I used. If there were any left over I most likely ate them plain but I can't remember. Add your spices and let that sauce simmer until your pasta is done. After everything looks good, just combine the two pans until they give birth to a beautiful baby tortellini.

Halloween Pizza PIE Zombiefied

Ingredients

• 2 9" Pie Crusts
• 3/4 Cup Parmy Cheese
• 3/4 Cup Motza Cheese
• 1 Cup Mayo
• 7 Tomatoes Diced
• 1 Yellow Onion 
• Black Pepper to taste
• Fresh Oregano
• Fresh Basil
• Crushed Red Pepper Flakes

Directions

1. Preheat your oven to 350 and while that's getting hot, dice up your onion. If your oven takes a really long time like mine to preheat, then you can start dicing up the tomatoes too! So much fun!
2. Have a bearded zombie fry the onion on a pan until translucent and throw the pie crusts in the oven for about 8 minutes. While the crusts are in the oven and someone is manning the onions, in a bowl, combine the 2 cheeses and the mayo and stir until all the cheese is joined. 
3. With the heated crusts, put half of the onions on the bottom of each one making a thin layer. Next, do the same thing with the tomatoes adding pepper on top. On top of the tomatoes, add half of the cheese mixture to each pie and top with basil and oregano and rep pepper flakes. 
4. Pop those suckers in the oven for about 20-25 minutes and then add some more fresh herbs on top to make it look pretty. Oh my god! Garnish with a warm Busch beer. 

Phat Ass Greek Stuff'd Peppers

Ingredients

• 6 Bell Peppers, halved and seeded
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1/2 pound extra-lean ground beef
• Salt and Pepper to taste
• 1 teaspoon oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon basil
• 2 large tomatoes, diced
• 3 cups of COOKED brown rice
• 1 1/2 cup Feta cheese, crumbled

Directions

1. Preheat yer oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly grease up a baking sheet and place the peppers, cut side down, on it and pop her in the oven for 20-30 minutes or until they're tender and the skin starts to brown. Don't let it brown like Mario, but like a sun-bathing Daniel!
2. While those pep peppers are "baking," heat the EVOO up and throw the diced onion in. Cook until it's translucent and add the meat. Be sure to chop that shit up and get it all crumbled. Add salt and pepper to taste fasho. You could drain and blot the meat with a paper towel after being cooked but that's for bitches who count calories. Let that grease stay and your taste "bud"s will thank you kindly.
3. Add the basil and oregano and then add the tomatoes and rice. Mix it all together well and add the cheese and mix it well again. Let all that shit heat up a little bit, ya know get the juices flowin' (in this case the cheese), and then your peppers should be nice and tender.
4. Get the tray of peps out but be careful! Your perfectly "blazed" batch will be too "toasty" to touch, so wear your mits! Let em cool off a lil and then flip em over with a fork. Fill the peppers with the tasty mixture you've got soaking in the pan and make it look artsy to the best of your ability. You've made it this far so don't make what you've created look bogus!
5. Pop the newly colorful tray back into the oven for 10-15 minutes to cook through and then you're set! Garnish with a couple swigs of Gentleman Jack and a private bowl in the shower for desert! Injoi!

KC's Deep Fried Turkey

Ingredients

• 1 Bowl of sliced butter
• 1 Bowl of cracked black pepper
• 1 Bowl of sea salt
• 1 15 pound turkey
• 4 1/2 Gallons of peanut oil
• 1 40-60 quart metal pot
• 1 metal cage basket
• Propane tank and burner
• 1 Candy thermometer
• A backyard incase things get "fucky"
• 1 Metal close hanger
• 1 Large thick rubber glove

Directions

1. Lets start by getting that pasty looking turkey tasting good! With your hands, get all the shit out of the inside, that means the neck and all that other weird shit that some people with no class eat. Next, with your fingers, separate the skin from the body doing slow slowly so that the skin doesn't break. In this massive separation, insert slices of butter and pinches of black pepper and sea salt. This whole process is kinda winging it in terms of how much seasoning to use but just keep at it until tired. Next, cover the cavity and outside of the turkey with a dry rub of the salt and pepper.
2. Let that carcass chill the fridge for a while, during which, you can drink a 32 oz. Cobra to calm your nerves.
3. Remove the metal cage from the pot and fill the pot with the oil. Anywhere between 4 and 5 gallons of either peanut or corn oil will suffice. Heat the oil until it is at 325 degrees and no higher than 350 using the candy thermometer. This'll take about 25 minutes.
4. Once the oil is heated, cram the turkey into the bottom of the basket. Now you have to get creative. Because frying a turkey is kind of a random thing and not that ordinary, it's retarded to me to buy and fancy lowering kit and hook. Fuck that. Get a metal wire or close hanger and make a fat hook yourself like a man. Using your fashioned device, SLOWLY lower the cage into the bubbling oil. This part is actually kind of scary. Because your arm is held at an awkward position, you should have a spotter, like the old man to hold your arm up while you lower it. If you didn't already think about it, of course this has to be done outside dumbass. That oil will set so much shit on fire. ***Heated oil reacts violently with water, so make sure your turkey is dry, hence the "dry rub" and time to hang out in the fridge.***
5. Once your turkey is completely submerged and it's all good looking, let her fry! It takes about 3 minutes per pound to cook so you do the math. The inner breast should be 170 degrees.

*TIPS*

= If your turkey is black or burnt looking when removed, don't freak out. The inner meat is still AWESOME tasting.

= When removing the turkey, remember, there's going to be a lot of hot oil in the cavity so keep that in mind.

= Don't ever let anyone who hasn't deep fried a turkey think they're better than you. They're clearly not because they're pussies and could never do it.

R.I.P. Kim Jong-Il Salmon: A Tribute

Kim Jong-Il has left us and everyone here at Kieran's Kitchen is totally shocked by his food poisening and freak-tennis accident that occurred during his flight to Long Beach, MS. We decided, with Beans' help, to cook this late emperor's favorite dish to honor his memory.

Ingredients

• -1/8 cup of minced ginger root.

  - 5 cloves of minced garlic.

  - Italian dressing and terriaki sauce. 3/4 cup of each.

  - Rosemary, basil, dill.

  - Red pepper flakes

  - Lime juice

  - 4 salmon filets

Directions

1. Combine the dressing and sauce in a bowl. Add garlic, lime and ginger. Stir it all until nicely blended and add some red pepper flakes to kick things up a notch.

2. Place fish in a baking pan and drench those lil fishies in marinade. Place all the herbs mentioned above on top, cover, and let marinate in the fridge for 1 hour. You can kill the time by feeding your fish and setting up a hot-wheels race track.

3. Place your slippery fishies into a preheated oven at 425 degrees and bake for 12 minutes.

4. Remove from the oven with gloves! It's hot! Don't burn your hands! You need 'em for stuff!

5. Garnish with your desired amount of sake bombs.

Beans' Pollo Alfredo

Ingredients

• - 3 Boneless Skinless Ch'kun Tits

  - 1 Package of Fettuchini Noodies

  - 1 Quart of Heavy Whipping Cream

  - 1 Package of Bertolli Shredded Parmesean Cheese

  - 8 Cloves of Minced Garlic

  - White Pepper and Salt to Taste

  - 1/2 Cup of Butter and 1/3 Cup of Flour

  
  

Directions

1. Cook the ch'kun in strips until lightly browned.

2. Brown the garlic in a medium sauce pan. Add the whipping cream and bring to a simmer. Add the cheese and the butter and flour. Make it thick enough but not super runny, but thick enough so that it's sort of thick but not too thick because that would be bad, but also, don't be shy! You don't want to make it too runny. So, make it sort of kind of thick but not too thick and not too runny. Got it?

3. Add salt and white pepper to taste.

4. Add the ch'kun and bring the noodies to a boil. Multitask dammit!

5. Slop your mixture over the noodies and bask in your dishes warm glory.

6. Garnish with 1 bottle of Olde New England Eggnog AND a glass of white wine.